As I finished up at the Feinbloom Low Vision Center in Philadelphia, my husband and I both used the restrooms in the lobby before heading to the car for the drive home. As we were almost out the door, Kerry, the Director of the Low Vision Rehabilitation Program, called my name, walking briskly towards me. I had just worked with her for several hours, going over equipment available that might work with the vision that I do have, giving me my best sight currently technologically possible. She explained that she had just had a call from a colleague in Wisconsin, an Orientation & Mobility trainer, who was looking for someone to talk with a young woman who was going blind. Kerry has known me for 10 years, she asked if I would be interested. I would.
Kerry sent my contact information to the Midwest and I met, via email, the gentleman, Tim, wanting to find a person with loss of sight for one of his clients, Erin. He provided my phone number to her, but it was a few months until I heard from her via text. We set up a time to have a conversation. I was nervous. What could I possibly have to offer a young woman in her 20s? I knew she was a law student, far from her home and family on the East Coast. I was determined to give her something useful, even if it was just my ears.
One of the first things Erin asked was about my own vision, what could I see? I had learned that she was, for all intents and purposes, completely blind, so I felt myself hesitate in my response. I was absolutely going to be honest, but I also hoped to soften the blow of my better sight. Without holding back, I described to her what I can and can’t see, along with how I see it. I waited for her voice and attitude to change, but it didn’t. We moved on to other topics, finding more similarities than I could have imagined given our 30 year age difference and dissimilar seasons of life.I never lied but I was conscious of the disparity in our ability to see, but organically subjects that linked us were discussed. She had wonderful resources at school, during subsequent calls we gave each other tips and tools we had learned.
I don’t recall when it was but in one of our earliest talks, Erin told me her family was planning a trip to Disney. It would be her first without her sight. She was understandably wary of what the return to a place she loved would be like for her. I had had similar feelings about Sedona, “Red Rock, Paper, Scissors, Past, Future.” I told her that what I had found is that our adventures are often more about who you are with more so than where you are. I was so happy for her when we spoke after her visit to Mickey’s place that she had had a wonderful time. She had thought about what I had said and found the same to be true for her.
It has been two years since we began chatting. We spoke while Erin was at the school where she learned to work with her new guide dog. She graduated law school in May, she passed the bar and has a job with a law firm in Tampa.
I am in awe of her.
We both bring up from time to time the unlikely relationship we find ourselves in. I am old enough to be her mom, yet it doesn’t feel that way. Erin seems just like my 50- and 60-something gal pals. We are related by the human experience, the loss of our vision, by the falls we have taken and the getting up we have done. We exchange ideas and experiences, we sugarcoat nothing.
Erin and I were meant to be. Had I not been at the Eye Institute that day, Kerry may have thought of someone else to refer to Tim. Had I not had to go to the bathroom before we headed home, Kerry may have missed me and moved on to another person. I emailed Tim after the first call with Erin to tell him how it went without breaking any confidences she had shared. It was then that he asked me what my acuity etc. is. Once I told him, Tim admitted that had he known he might not have considered me a good fit for Erin, given the fact that I have more sight than her. But he didn’t ask, he didn’t know, and I am so grateful. The stars were aligned. Though neither of us read Braille, the dots connected to spell FRIENDS.
#sisterrain #alittlesightalotofheart#legallyblindwriter #blindnessisaspectrum #opticneuropathy #visuallyimpaired #blind #weseeeachotherclearly
