Recently driving through Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania, my husband and I reminisced about the last time we were there, over 25 years ago. We had gone whitewater rafting with a bunch of my co-workers who had turned into friends, the 12 of us filling two rafts. After changing into our green wetsuits, we were given our paddles along with our instructions. Tuck your feet under the designated places in the raft; they are your only attachment to the inflated death machine. Should you fall into the river, immediately get on your back so that your underwater parts don’t get smashed into rocks below the surface. These are NOT listed in the brochure, by the way.
I was fully-sighted back then, put in the middle row of one of the rafts beside one of my girlfriends. Her boyfriend and Mister Rain were behind us in the back. The Lehigh River is certainly not the Colorado, but we had heavy snowfall that year and the water was running fast that Saturday in April from the snow melt. And, boy, was it cold.
The guide in the front of our raft called out instructions, using terminology we learned on the rapids, “Thread the needle!”, “Dig in!.” And, yes, these all contained exclamation points in their delivery to us. It was scary but having to concentrate on the various rowing techniques to . . you know . . . survive . . . kept our minds off the danger.
And then we hit a bump, one of many that would toss us around that day. All of a sudden I heard the guy sitting with my husband in the last row say, “I got you, buddy!” I turned just in time to see this man grab ahold of Mister Rain’s wetsuit at the middle of his chest and pull him out of the water. Before he was even completely seated again, I screamed, “STOP FOOLING AROUND!!! STAY IN THE RAFT!!!” As my poor husband coughed and spit out the murky water of central Pennsylvania, I furiously paddled.
Married less than ten years at the time, we still laugh about it and tell the story. I am happy to say that I have calmed down a bit, even before Taylor Swift told me to do so, and if the same situation were to occur today my first concern would be his safety.
Then I would yell at him.
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