I was a bulldog with tact when I worked in Corporate America, at least that was how one boss described me. I would leave no stone unturned in finding an answer and completing a task. If a vendor was not going to meet the deadline, I would be holding their feet to the fire. If a colleague didn’t do what they said they would, I would call them out on it. If any member of my team was ghosting me, I would sit them down to discuss.
Although no one in my personal life ever said so, I know I operated in the same way when not at work. With my sudden vision loss, I became an advocate for first myself than others. With this there was never a hesitation.
Where I have been surprising myself, and not in a good way, is when it comes to my business, Sister Rain. Most recently, I was emailing back and forth with someone about sharing one of my stories on their social media platforms. They were excited to do so and I was wondering if they would also be putting it on their website and in their newsletter, but I felt like inquiring about this was asking too much. I was treating their endorsement of my story as if they were doing me a favor, when, in fact, doing so was mutually beneficial.
“Should I ask them about the website and newsletter?,” looking to my husband for his council. As the words came out of my mouth, they tasted sour. This was foreign to me, this uncertainty about such things. If I was working for Acme Construction I would have not one second of pondering, I would request that the story be included on their website and newsletter too. Why was I reticent to do so when it was my own business?
When my mom died and then my vision, for the most part, left three months later, I worked hard to hang on to who I was. Now that 14 years have passed, I realize that I am not the same person I was in 2012. I imagine this would have been the case had mom lived and my sight stayed. Time, with even just all its tiny occurrences, has a way of doing that. It can smooth the edges but also create new ones.
But our experiences are not altered. I am grateful that I had all those years in a traditional business model. The skills I once employed for my employer now need to work for me. Asking for something should never be a cause for debate. This is usually not an issue for me but when I recognized it, all I could think was at this stage of my life, with all the life I have lived, why was I reluctant to ask for something that would further promote my work?
Sister Rain is a small organization with one full-time staffer (me) and two part-time: Mister Rain as photographer and proofreader, Piper as my muse. But of all the jobs I have held, this is the one that I was meant to do and the one that means the most. It’s that simple. Even though I was always committed to my company, now it’s personal, no question about it.
And there is no better reason to ask questions.
#SisterRain #LegallyBlindWriter #LifeIsGood #LifeStories
