Do you like reading books about something you have gone through? Or would you rather not hear how other people have dealt with the same thing as you?
Lately I have been reading books written by people with vision loss. I find that I have to read some lighter fiction fare in between the non-fiction accounts. For although it is interesting and sometimes helpful to learn of another person’s comparable story, it can also dredge up stuff. A lot of stuff. Murky, muddy waters of an unpleasant time, quite possibly one that you are still shoulder deep in, trying desperately to find your footing. I am a decade out of the depths yet each author’s profile churns up the gunk of my own biography, often causing an unconscious heaviness that lingers after The End. The familiar physical and emotional details the writer shares forces me to revisit parts of my life that I have no desire to be reminded of. Though I have moved on,with every page turned forward I am swept back.
Another unsettling aspect of reading someone else’s narrative is the comparison it can cause you to make. Did this person cope better than you? Did this survivor survive more quickly than you? Has this individual done “greater” things as a result of their challenge than you? After all, I have yet to read a book by anyone with compromised sight who is in the throes of figuring it out. I guess you don’t get a book deal when you are still on a struggle bus you can no longer drive.
I have, however, become aware of technology, clinical trials and new treatments being developed from the books I have read. In some cases I have been challenged to look at vision loss in a different way. Mostly, I have felt a sense of community from these memoirs despite never having met the authors. In my closest personal orbit, I know no one like me. That can be a lonely place to be at times.
Whatever it is that you have gone or are going through, someone else has been there first. It may be difficult to return to the darker periods of your life but another’s perspective can shed light on it . . . and you.
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