You would think that once you wake up blind, everything else would be gravy. But what I find is that now I stress when I have something coming up on the calendar, and this never happened before the loss. These things that I’m referring to are fun, good things and yet I feel overwhelmed. I start stressing days before and always allow way too much extra time to get ready.
I was a Corporate Meeting Manager prior to my vision loss, and nothing would rattle me. Now, it’s so different and I can’t figure out why. I will be with people who I love and will help me with anything I need and I know I will have a great time. Maybe it’s because even though I go out, the majority of the time, I am home. Maybe it’s because I’m no longer the one in control and am now along for the ride, literally. I can’t figure it out.
Whatever the cause, I hope that eventually this goes away. In my head, I know it’s ridiculous and so unnecessary. But getting it through to the rest of me is the challenge.
Quite frankly, I could do without all the challenges. And yet there they are, everyday, big and small. This I would consider a big one. Because when you get in your own way of living life and doing things and going on adventures with your peeps, well, that’s not a challenge, that’s just dumb. And I am a lot of things, but dumb isn’t one of them.
