A few of my friends are going through some difficult times and I offer love and support as best as I can. Without premeditation, I find myself suggesting thoughts and ideas to hopefully help them with their situations. I always think about what I have said to them and most times what I have proposed to them for consideration is relevant to my own life and struggles.
If it sounds so good for them AND me, there’s got to be something worthwhile there, right? I am sure I am not coming up with original concepts, I don’t profess to be that smart or inventive, which only adds more credence to the advice. If it’s been said before, it’s been done before and there’s at least a 50/50 chance it works. When I am experiencing a rough patch of life, those odds should look damn good to me.
So, why then, is it so hard to take one’s own words of wisdom? (“Wisdom” is completely subjective here.) We know logically that these brainchildren (note word brain) are worth a try if nothing else. And there is a strong likelihood that they are a true solution. Emotions are what get us into trouble. They trigger in us a defense to the submitted actions that any team in the NFL would be thrilled to have. We are in the thick of the problem and are unable to set our feelings aside to look at the circumstances objectively. No matter what we know in our heads, we also know what lives in our hearts. If this were Rock, Paper, Scissors, heart would beat out head every time.
So what’s the fix? Any answer is going to be intellectual which just circles us back around. It seems the best we can do is continue to share what we believe will help the people we love, and reflect on how this counseling might apply in our own lives. The guidance may come from the head, but we’ve got to take it to heart.