Inbox Full, Under The Tree Empty

Shopping online for gifts is a convenience, but to me, it is much more than that. It’s a way to reclaim some of my independence. Since jumping in my car, list in tow, is no longer an option, I can open the iPad and start browsing, price comparing and ordering. I have enough vision to see things on the tablet, as long as I am able to enlarge, and by enlarge I mean ENLARGE. I still can’t see most colors and there are a few other visual glitches, but it has really been . . well, a gift. My husband and I spend all our weekends running around doing routine errands that I used to be able to accomplish during the week when I could drive. Shopping online for Christmas presents removes the extra burden of holiday stops.

I ordered all my gifts in plenty of time so that delivery would be much before The Big Day. And yet it’s the 21st and I am still waiting for many packages to arrive even though they shipped weeks ago. That would be enough to jingle my sleigh bells (not in a good way) but then the excessive, I would dare to say constant, incoming emails from these online stores exalting last-minute deals and “There’s still time! Delivery guaranteed before Christmas!” are just too much! I keep expecting the emails to be status updates of my orders saying QUIT YOUR COMPLAINING, IT’S ON THE PORCH but instead the shops want more of my business.

I guess I have to look at it this way. Instead of sitting in traffic, then driving countless times around a parking lot to find a spot, crowds, sold out, long lines, fa la la la la, you become obsessive about tracking your shipments and practically scaring the fudge out of your poor mailman when you hear a noise out in front of your house.

In either case, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. That little fact was sarcastically delivered not only in good time, but before Thanksgiving, when the madness began.

Do you know what absolutely must arrive on time? It’s the hottest, most sought-after item on all my girlfriends’ lists: December 26th. 

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