My husband and I took our nephew to drive go carts at an indoor track. It was the younger of the two’s first time and he did great, beating his uncle’s time and leaving him in his dust twice.
I LOVED to drive before my vision went on a one-way trip and I wanted to be out on the track too. I had assured my husband that I didn’t mind doing this activity; I was the one who discovered the speedway online. But, boy, did I yearn to participate.
You would think that after five years the things that I can no longer do wouldn’t bother me. Although I don’t dwell on them, sometimes the pain of what once was and no longer is is as raw as the first year of my new life. It turns out that there is no timeline or time limit when your world is turned upside down by the loss of someone or something. Unlike the competition between an allegedly grown man and his sister’s preteen son, it is not a race.
I will miss driving for the rest of my life and sometimes it’s going to hurt that it is not feasible. But I have come a long way to be able to genuinely enjoy being with two people I love doing something fun that is no longer possible for me. And recognizing there is no definitive pace will take me the rest of the way.
And there’s always bumper cars. THAT I can do!
