TO MY LOYAL READERS, I MAY CROSS A LINE HERE TODAY AND I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION:
The company I work for performs specialized surgical procedures. I don’t want to say too much in the interest of anonymity . . . and saving my job until I find a new one.
Today I got to spend the day in the surgery center and was dressed in scrubs and other OR accoutrements as I was able to watch a few operations. I had to get up at 4 a.m. to get over to the center by 6 a.m. so driving home after 3:00 p.m. I was feeling tired.
It was, again, a really hot and humid day here in Pennsylvania. I was warm when I got home and the house was like an oven (yes, our house is brick) until I could get the air conditioners cranking. I had to go to the bathroom so bad (relax, #1, although those of you who know me know it could easily have been the other — SORRY!) and by the time I got upstairs and into my bedroom the sweat was pouring down my face. I took off my shirt and then went to work on my pants. I could not get the drawstring undone and now I really have to go to the bathroom and did I mention the sweat is running into my eyes and my new contacts and I am a mess?
I urge myself to remain calm and attempt to slide the pants down without undoing the drawstring. Not happening. I am standing in front of the box fan in our bedroom and the air conditioner is on but it is hot, hot, hot. I try to look down and see exactly what the problem is with the tied drawstring but you see dear Friends, I have a rather large chest and for me to see my stomach area, well, it’s not easy. I try to push my boobs to the side but I am so sweaty and slippery they keep flopping back and blocking my view. I continue to attempt to soothe myself because it’s looking like I’m either going to have to pee my pants or cut myself out of the scrub pants which I need to return.
Finally, after some gentle tugging I am able to untie the knot. I pull the pants down in an attempt to quickly get them off but I realize I still have my sneakers on. I try to get them off by using the other foot on each but now the pants are down around my ankles, somewhat covering my sneakers and getting in the way of getting the sneakers off so I shuffle to the bathroom with them down around my ankle. And I pee.
People have suggested with the way that the job market is I should consider changing my focus to a different career. I’ve remained strong in my conviction that Meeting & Event Planning is what I want to do and who I am but yesterday I did love being in the OR and watching the surgeries. For a few moments, I considered what it would take to become a surgical tech.
What it would take is tear-away scrubs . . .
