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She Might As Well Have Taken My Temperature Rectally

In a doctor’s exam room a nurse takes my vitals and reviews my medical history. My vision comes up and I recite the facts as if they were just another position on my resume during a job interview. Then this:

Nurse: “How do you get around?”
Me: “I can walk pretty well on my own. If I need help, I take someone’s shoulder.”
Nurse: “No. I mean do you drive?”
Me: “No.”
Nurse: “It could be worse.”
Me: “Did you drive yourself here today?”
Nurse: “Yep.”
Me: <silence>

Until you know me or you’ve ridden countless miles in the passenger seat . . .

 

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