Sister Rain is hitting the slopes!
No, she’s not. Never has, never will.
Sister Rain is sporting the latest sunglass trend, recently debuted at Paris Fashion Week!
No, she’s not. Never has, never will.
Then what the heck are these goggles all about?
Prior to testing at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, I am given these goggles to wear for AT LEAST 20 minutes prior to the start of the test, in order that my eyes might become “dark adapted.” Um . . . Dr. A, I live my life in a good degree of darkness, I would say we can consider the adapting portion of this ridiculousness complete. Sorry, Sister Rain, it is part of he protocol. Of course it is.
I would like to mention at this point that now I am wearing thick, dark, red lenses suctioned onto my head, my eyes have also been dilated, becoming seemingly coated in Vaseline ON TOP of the serious visual impairment I already have. This was my third go-round in two years with these googles. It was, however, the first time I had to go to the bathroom in them. Life and these gogles, my friends, are the gifts that keep on giving. I managed, though I will fully admit to wanting to rip them off when I could not find the end of the new toilet paper roll to unfurl it. There was a moment where I expected Ashton Kutcher to come busting in, telling me I was being punked.
Unable to use my phone wearing the goggles, I sat in the hall waiting area with other people in the same predicament, although I have no idea what their visual acuity was. I felt for them, though, and myself. I often wonder how I got here, not in a woe-is-me way, but in a looking-for-a-plausible-explanation perspective.
No, Sister Rain is not hitting the slopes. Just like you, she is hurtling down a steep hill, unable to see what is ahead, what with the blizzard conditions, the biting air turning your eyelashes to mini icicles, with no feeling from the neck down due to the frigid temps. Bend your knees. Let someone know where you are. Pray. laugh at the absurdity. This is happening so try to enjoy the terror. Remind yourself that you have ascended from higher elevations before, living to tell the tale. It does not matter how you got to this moment, the only thing that is important is that you survive. And that you pack your own toilet paper.
#sisterrain #alittlesightalotofheart #legallyblindwriter #blindnessisaspectrum #opticneuropathy #visuallyimpaired #blind #dorothyparker #whatfreshpowderisthis
