It would be remiss of me not to address the pandemic in the room in one of my first posts back. It was an unexpected, everything comes to a full stop, oh my god people are DYING, there’s a monster outside the house horror we’d only seen in the movies. It continues to seem an impossibility. We know it happened. We have the masks in our drawers, bottom of our purses, in glove boxes in our cars. We have empty seats at family events. We have front line workers who will never be the same for all they saw, all they gave. Those years are a blur punctuated by crystal clear, crippling moments.
In addition to the universal outlook, we all have our own unique perspective of that time. I will preface mine by saying it is rooted in a life-changing event that occurred in 2012. When I woke up without sight in both eyes, my world was abruptly halted. My life was not in danger although I didn’t know that for awhile. Unexpectedly opening your eyes to darkness could only be a brain tumor, right? But it was the same gears grinding, wheels screeching, teeth gnashing, slam on the brakes. The train was chugging along right on schedule until the sudden impact moment that turned into days, weeks, months and years. When COVID hit with the force of an F5 tornado, the majority of woman- and mankind were experiencing this for the first time. I was not. Everyone was removed from their social and workplace relationships. Isolation and fear became their only companions. At first I was understanding and compassionate. How could I not be in the face of A GLOBAL PANDEMIC? But over time radio talk show and podcast hosts I regularly listen to started grousing constantly about their boredom. I wanted to scream. LEARN TO COOK! READ A BOOK! JUST BE STILL! I couldn’t wrap my mind around why newbies weren’t able to get it together for this blip on their radar. I didn’t know when, no one did, but life would resume for everyone else while I would remain for the most part at home. I lead a busy life, I’ve created a new version for myself within its walls since I lost my ability to drive and continue on in my career as a corporate meeting planner. It was difficult for me to hear the ir complaints of a temporary situation when mine was permanent.
It’s all relative, I get that. Your experience is yours alone. If my vision was restored tomorrow I would no doubt eventually grumble about the things that right now I would do just about anything to regain. But I have learned so much about myself and the human existence, mostly due to the fact that a majority of the time, at least in the beginning of my new normal, I had to sit with myself. And that’s not such a bad thing.
The return to life as we know it occurred with some modifications. A collective sigh of relief swept the globe like the wave in a stadium. Of course I go out with friends and my husband, I’ve got the usual appointments that are a part of all our lives plus an extra amount of doctors and testing as we continue to try to determine why I lost my sight. I travel, go on fun and interesting outings. The day to day things we all take for granted, however, are no longer standard operating procedure for me on a commonplace Tuesday. My routine didn’t change much when COVID burst in nor when it slowly ambled out. I am doing well – I’m happy – but not a day goes by that I’m not aware of at least one thing I’ve lost. The next time you perform even the smallest act you couldn’t do those years of COVID, relish it for both of us. For if that terrible time taught us anything, it should be that.
And, seriously. Read a book!*
*This title by Ali Wentworth offers a funny yet poignant look at the COVID pandemic. You may think: “Why would I read about THAT? I lived it.” That is exactly why. Click here for Amazon’s listing.
#sisterrain #alittlesightalotofheart #legallyblindwriter #aliwentworth #covidinterruptus
