I swatted away the small spider that must have been hanging from a web attached to the ceiling. It didn’t go away, now it seemed to be in my hair above my left eye. I smacked at the area, then ran my fingers through that area.
It was still there. Something told me this was not a bug I was dealing with. Moving my eyes all around, the small black dot shifted in conjunction with my eyeball’s motion. Is there something in my eye? I rubbed a bit, but I didn’t feel a lash or any other foreign body. Still, I kept lightly massaging, trying to make it go away. It did not go away.
Now I was scared. Terrified, actually. My whole body was shaking.
Given my vision history, this could not be good. The dark area was not growing in size, thank goodness, but it continued to travel as I looked around.
I shared what was going on with my husband, then I called my local eye doctor whose office I knew to have evening hours. It was 6 pm on a Monday. I got their answering service who offered to have the doctor on-call get back to me, sharing the name of the physician. I was so happy to hear it, I had seen this particular doctor a few times in the last year for itchy, red eyes due to allergies. I loved him for his kindness and knowledge, as well as his familiarity with my optic past.
It only took a few minutes for my phone to ring. I calmly explained to the optometrist what I was experiencing, despite having begun to cry. He totally understood but explained to me that it sounded like I had a floater. Eye floaters are small specks, dots, or squiggly lines that drift across your vision. They are shadows cast on your retina by tiny clumps of collagen within the eye’s clear, gel-like vitreous. I had had them before my vision loss, but they were always clear and did not last as long as this thing already had. I suspect I have had clear floaters since my sight became impaired, I am just unable to see them. This new addition to my already compromised anatomy was dark. The doctor assured me these were common, he had just had one a few weeks ago himself. I asked what the treatment was, he replied that there is none. Your brain will eventually get used to it, ceasing to register it over time.
Though he would not be in the office the next day, he wanted me to come in then to see the retina specialist. With my previous eye issues in mind, he was not going to mess around. I was still crying. Once again, he patiently and compassionately made it clear that this was not an unusual occurrence.
Mister Rain had been able to hear the conversation over speaker phone; when I hung up we both felt better. But I was still freaked. The newly arrived dark spot was in my “good” eye, the other has a large blind spot in its middle. I cannot afford to introduce more damage to either eye, most definitely not to the better of the two.
The following afternoon the retina specialist confirmed what the doctor had told me the night before. I was grateful that it was nothing more serious, but I was still upset that my brain and the rest of me had to get used to another vision issue, even if only, hopefully, for a short time.
It has been a few weeks since it appeared. I do seem to notice it less, but make no mistake, it is there. And I want it gone.
Although not a fan, I would have much preferred the spider.
#SisterRain #ALittleSightALotOfHeart #LegallyBlindWriter #Blind #BlindnessIsASpectrum #LegallyBlind #LowVision #VisuallyImpaired #OpticNeuropathy #VisionLoss #EyeFloater
