A single woman in her 20s recently asked me the secret to a long and happy marriage. I thought it was cute she thinks my husband and I are happy. Next year we will be married 25 years and we have been through an awful lot together: unemployment, money worries, illness and death of parents, our own serious medical trials. When we hear newlyweds complaining about how hard marriage is, we shake our heads. They simply have no idea and we have to wonder about their chance of longevity with a shaky foundation. The early days, after the wedding, are an adjustment if you haven’t previously lived together, but those weeks and months after the Big Day should be blissfuly free of the struggles you will face together as life continues.
I think it’s important to be with someone whose interests are similar but who also has their own hobbies as well. And as I have said previously on this blog, laughter goes a long, long way. You should also aspire to all the qualities you would want in any relationship: respect, honesty, love, trust and the feeling that the other person really gets you. I’m not claiming to have the perfect marriage because, let’s face it, my husband’s not perfect. But we do okay in spite of his shortcomings. (And there’s the comedic genius I referred to earlier in this paragraph.)
There is a lot to the theory that you have to pick your fights and decide if each transgression, whether perceived or actual, is worth digging your heels in, taking a stand and in some cases (mine) yelling. Or do you simply give in? And that is how I got to this:
Does it match our bathroom’s color scheme? Not really. But we needed a new shower curtain and the last time we went to buy one at a store it was a nightmare because he is color blind and I am no longer able to see color. He loves the Seahawks and it’s fun and if you’re close enough to us to be using our bathroom, you won’t be surprised.
Picking your fights can be difficult. But choosing this shower curtain was easy. It made him so happy and keeps the water in the shower. In the span of a marriage there are big moments, such immense joy you can’t believe how fortunate you are and sorrow that will knock you flat on your ass. But if you can mix some fun into the little, necessary moments of a marriage, I believe you have a great chance to be together a long time.
Shower curtains come and go, but taking one for his team, and our team as a couple, well, that could have us going all the way.
