I’ll Follow Me Everywhere

We all have had to put the past behind us in order to move on with a new normal. Seven years since my vision loss, I have realized that even when we stop looking back and focus on the future, what came before is still with us. The distance between then and now will increase with the passage of time but it’s always there.

Yesterday morning I was telling someone about testing I’m having done at Wills Eye Hospital, how I am hopeful that someday my sight will be restored, that I will pursue all avenues to that end, but I live my life as if my sight will always be as it is now. A few hours later, I tried something I hadn’t done since I woke up blind, something I used to be a whiz at. And it was damn near impossible given my inability to see very well. As in all things, I was a determined trooper, knowing going in it wouldn’t be easy but grateful there was a potential option for me to return to this activity. The result was soul-crushing. I’ve lived without it for seven years but to have it within reach then have it slip away was painful. I cried.

You can put the past behind you and I have learned, for the most part, to do just that  But it will still be with me for the rest of my life.


Monday Kickoff

“The clock is either
for you
against you.”

— an announcer during a football game

It’s Monday.
Try to catch everything that’s thrown at you.
Run like hell.
When necessary, take a timeout.

Monday Night Football


A Visually Challenged Bird Mom Walks Into A Bar

We have all seen photos of people where there’s a black bar across their eyes to protect their identity. Our eyes show the world who we are. When I just saw one such picture, I had the thought that my eyes have a black bar of sorts across them from the inside and, therefore, others looking at me can get a sense of who I am, but I unable to do the same.

I’m told that I maintain good eye contact even though I can’t see your face unless you’re close enough to kiss. I follow your voice. The window to your soul, your eyes, may be closed to me by the “black bar” across mine, but your voice is the door to your spirit. I may be looking at your shoulder, but I see you.


My Takeaway

What is it about a takeaway coffee cup?
Expensive and environmentally unfriendly.
The baby bottle of adults.
Holding one evokes thoughts of yoga pants, entrepreneurs and baristas who become friends.
So much better than your favorite mug at home.
Rainy days.
“You’ve Got Mail”.
Paparazzi. As if anyone’s looking for me.
If ordering you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Find your latte in life. Whatever it is, it will be so much more than what it appears to be.




Dislocated Shoulders

As you read this, where are your shoulders? I’m guessing up around your ears where most of us find them. I’ve noticed lately while sitting with Piper, our parrot, or watching TV that my shoulders are in the locked and upright position, or should I say uptight, position. I catch myself in these peaceful moments, wonder why and make myself untense.

I have commented during massages to the therapist, “Oh, that’s where my shoulders belong”, as they put them in the right place and strongly encouraged them to stay there. They don’t, of course.

Is it a habit? Why am I carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders ever, let alone in the least stressful times of my life? I’m Type A and driven, yes, but all the more reason to be successful at relaxing.

I hope that at 54 I can teach my shoulders a new trick. I encourage you to join me. Shrug all you want at the idea, at least then they’ll go down!


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