I have slept in the same bed for 36 years. I purchased it with a dresser, bureau, living room set and dining room table with 4 chairs in 1988 when I moved out of my parents’ home and into my first apartment. A few years later, I would meet my husband, all the furniture came with us to our new home the month before our wedding. Except for the bedroom set, all the pieces have been replaced. To clarify, the husband is still here.
I keep seeing a commercial or IG post – who can keep track of the where anymore? – during which a woman says that as an adult, you usually have at least one thing you wanted when you were young. Amongst the barrage of information coming at me, that stopped my scroll.
Is this true in my case?
Immediately I knew that it is. My parents ‘ relationship was not a good one, therefore, neither was most of my childhood. I’ve been married to a good man for over 30 years. I’m happy. I don’t remember thinking much about my future as a kid, surviving day to day was the focus. It had to be. But I knew I could not, WOULD NOT, live like that when I was a grown-up.
Something I think about often when I take my nightly bath is that once, when I was somewhere between toddler and teen, I dug my nails into the bar of soap in the family shower, creating half moons all over its surface. A fascinating work of art to my juvenile eyes. My alcoholic father was furious. Sometimes now I put a little crescent in the corner of my Dove bar (not the chocolate one) because I can.
Renting the apartment, removing myself from the toxic site of my early life, purchasing the furniture for that new safe haven was the unconscious start of my happy. The bed has seen many exhausted evenings, in addition to some sad mornings when wakefulness brings with it the harsh realities that were blanketed in sleep. Even in those moments, young Sister Rain would love that bed and this peaceful home.
The bedroom set needs an update but much like a bear, you don’t poke your happy. But you can jab your fingernail into your bar of soap as much as you want.
#sisterrain #alittlesightalotofheart #legallyblindwriter #bedbath&happy
