Recently I described myself as motherless in an exercise where I listed who I was before my vision loss and who I am now. My mom died a few months before I woke up without my sight. Thinking about that later, I realized that did a huge disservice to the woman who birthed, raised, loved and befriended me. I have a mother and she was wonderful.
The subject of mother loss has come up several more times since I made that list a few short weeks ago. Since then, the moms of two people I know have passed away. And a dear friend who lost her mother years ago pointed out to me on her birthday that birthdays are one of the days we miss our moms the most. I agreed; there are certain days when it feels like you are losing her all over again.
Your mom is supposed to,die before you: it’s nature. But I find life without my mom is anything but natural. It seems, among other things, wrong. No one wants to lose their biggest fan, the keeper of their childhood and family history. And those are just a few of the given things our moms are to us. Add in all the other roles she has played in your life: confidante, best friend, shopping buddy, partner in crime, beach/vacation pal, the loss becomes immeasurable.
No, I am not motherless. And although I am old enough to be a grandmother myself, being a daughter is ageless