Somehow in the last few weeks I have been able to somewhat distance myself mentally from the despair that is my job search. I have never been one with the ability to “push it down” when strong emotions take over. I don’t know whether it’s been the fact that there has been more postings recently, but I have not been panicking as much as I normally do.
That said, I have quite a few resumes out there right now for available jobs and yet no one has called. The past few days have brought no new openings and with each passing day I can feel Fear knocking on the door. It really is amazing what goes on inside each of our heads isn’t it?
I mean, even though the emotions of the job search have been kept at bay recently, that doesn’t mean it’s any less at the forefront of my mind 24/7. Is it a protective measure so I don’t go completely crazy that I’ve been given a reprieve from the negative emotions? I suppose I shouldn’t dissect it and just be grateful for the break.
Right now, it goes like this:
Fear: (Knocking on my mind)
Me: There’s nobody home. Go away.
Fear: (Leaves)
At any moment, though, I realize it could go like this:
Fear: (Knocking on my mind)
Fear: (Comes barging in without an invitation, sits down, grabs a bag of chips and makes itself comfortable)
Me: (Cuddles up to Fear and lays down with it)
I gotta get a deadbolt . . .
