Books and interviews by Anderson Cooper, as well as his podcast, “All There Is,” have taught me to ask someone who has told me a loved one has passed away what the deceased person’s name is. When I first heard this, I committed to the inquiry from that point forward. It makes perfect sense, it also aligns with the instruction we are given on Wreaths Across America Day, that when you lay a wreath at a veteran’s grave, you say their name, otherwise they die twice: once when they die, twice when they are forgotten.
The person you have lost may have been “Mom” or “Dad” to you, but before they received that title they were Babs and Tom. They are a whole person. Although you are their child, most likely their proudest accomplishment, they are so much more than one thing. Others called them by their name, it is what is etched on their tombstones and their urns, along with the date they were given that name.
The next time someone tells you that somebody important to them has died, ask them what their name is. In my experience, the recipient of the question will be taken aback a bit. But then they will understand, they will appreciate it. Hopefully, they will make this a genuine part of their future conversations.
Yes, we are more than one thing. Our name cannot capture all that we are, but it is an excellent start.
#sisterrain #alittlesightalotofheart #legallyblindwriter #andersoncooper #wreathsacrossamerica #whatishername
